


Letter to Myself

by swtalmnd



Series: Boundary Negotiations and Strange Treaties [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Communicating Like Actual Fucking Adults, Epistolary, M/M, Writin' Dirty 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:57:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swtalmnd/pseuds/swtalmnd
Summary: Bucky leaves a letter for Winter, and Winter answers.





	Letter to Myself

**Author's Note:**

> I'm challenging myself to keep these daily ficlets at 500 words, and the titles are the prompts, in case anyone was wondering. They come out under sometimes because of the difference between AO3 counting words vs my writing program, but that's the goal.
> 
> This one seemed really obvious to go with this series, and now I'm having Feelings and need to go back to reading wing porn.

_Dear Winter,_

_I know we say stuff on the chat a lot now, but I'm old-fashioned enough to want you to have words that never vanish. Our life feels like it's more than half dream most of the time, so I wanted to give you something real._

_I just need you to know that I love and appreciate you. I know what you endured, if not for me, then in my place. You remember all the terrible things they made us do so I don't have to, and you found a way to wake me up and help us stop doing them._

_I'm going to help us do the good things now, instead, to make up for whatever needs making up for. We're gonna love on Tony and Steve the way they deserve, and we're gonna fight together on the right side this time, and we're gonna be good to each other, to ourselves, because that's what we deserve._

_Don't argue, Steve and Tony tell us so every time they hold us._

_We're good. I want you here. I love you._

_Thank you,_  
_Bucky_

Winter stared at the letter, fingers slipping over that last line, mouth shaping the words without sound. Bucky was right, it was more real like this. It was better than Tony's coffee real, better than Steve hugs and Bruce's curry real, better than almost anything but Tony in his arms.

Winter was grateful that Bucky had left his writing things out, a clear invitation but not a demand. He moved the letter first, tucking it away and making plans to preserve it somewhere, later. He needed the words, sometimes, and this was even better than asking for the chat program.

Sometimes, Winter still had a lot of trouble with asking.

He pulled a page to himself and thought about what words he wanted to preserve for Bucky, working out the shape of the thing in his head before he set pen to page.

_Bucky,_

_Thank you._

_I love you. I love Tony. I might love Steve someday, I don't know yet._

_I was not glad to be the one to do those things, but I am glad you did not have to do them. I hate the memories, and do not wish them on you._

_The memories hurt._

_You help. Tony helps. Everyone here helps, even Pepper when she brings me cheese or tells me Tony stories. Steve's hugs help. Belly rubs help. JARVIS helps. Wanting and asking and getting helps._

_You help the most._

_Your letter is very good._

_Love,_  
_Winter_

Winter read it over. It was a lot of words, and his handwriting wasn't like Bucky's. Bucky had an elegant sprawl of cursive, slanting and a little sloppy. Winter had been taught to write in clean, even print, not that he often had occasion to use it. He thought about that, about learning to write beautifully just for the sake of saying nice things that people could hold in their hands.

Winter smiled.


End file.
